Thoughts on 35

The other day I was listening to a podcast and they said that more middle aged people are having mid life crisis’s than ever.  And then they further defined middle aged as 35+ and I realized holy shit;  I’m fucking middle aged.  I’m officially closer to 40 than 30 and closer to 60 than 20. I keep finding myself in these situations where I’m looking for the adult in the room to make the decision and I realize I am the adult.

So here I am, on the eve of my 36th birthday, in the midst of a global pandemic trying to figure out how I all of the sudden became a middle aged adult when it was just yesterday I was chugging Captain Morgan in the Florida State fountain on my 21st birthday.

I have to say that my 20’s were a great learning experience, figuring out all of the things I did NOT want in my life.  Now, so far in my 30’s, I’m figuring out & working towards all of the things I DO want in my life:  a healthy body and mind, a kind loving relationship with the man of my dreams, a group of family & friends that love and support me, and being of service.

If I were to compare the 25 year old Krystal to the 30 year old Krystal to the version typing this blog post today I’d tell you that I’m a different person completely and those closest to me would likely agree.  I’m saying yes to the things that are important to me and no to the things that no longer serve me, even when it’s hard.  I’m continuing to grow and learn and speak up for myself.  I’m having difficult conversations both with myself and others.  I’m grateful.  I’m writing.  I’m creating.  I’m living.  I’m loving.  And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Bring on 36.

With that I’ll leave you with the lyrics of Darius and the thought of oh, just how true the chorus of “This” is…

For every stoplight I didn’t make
Every chance I did or I didn’t take
All the nights I went too far
All the [boys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn’t know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to
This

Cheers!