Should is Not a Word.
Ahhhh Sunday, my favorite day of the week.
Growing up Sundays were always pretty sacred in our house - a day of rest as my dad would always say while sipping a glass of diet coke over ice and either golf or football on the tv depending on the sports season. It was a day to regroup and prepare for the week with little to no expectations for productivity. If I was at my father’s house for the weekend Sundays would be the day we spent with my Mom Mom Thomas on the way to bring me back to the Eastern Shore. Either way, it was always a day to look forward to.
As an adult I look forward to Sundays for the same reason, a chance to chill, refocus, and regroup. Today’s Sunday is even more special because not only do we have a new moon but it’s 8/8 and what and is known as what is called the Lions Gate Portal. According to Well + Good, “This Leo new moon, in conjunction with the lion's gate portal, is also a time of energetic healing and the manifestation of abundance.
Leo is known for its regal nature and heartfelt bravery, and coupled with Sirius—known to bring abundance and harvest—this energy presents a powerful moment to upgrade your reality.
Long-term projects, ideas, relationships, and major endeavors can now start to bear fruit and lead us towards a more authentic reality. The key to embracing this time and manifesting what’s in your heart is to have faith in your truth and release the attachment to how life should versus how it makes you feel.”
My longest term project I would have to say is myself and I’ve been putting some in some work in 2021. I started working with a therapist and on boundaries. I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat it, the first half of the year was rough for me, typically I feel a change around daylight savings when the clocks “Spring Forward”, but this year the change hung around for months. The burnout was real. The pressure was real. The overwhelm was real. Enter therapy.
During my first session it took me approximately 2 minutes to start crying. For the next few sessions I would jokingly say to my therapist “would you like the over or under on how long it will take me to start crying during our session”
I’m only 4 months in but between the tears I’ve had a lot of really good aha moments since starting and here are two of them:
You are a human being, not a human doing.
Should is not a word.
During this time of burnout and overwhelm I found myself putting so much pressure on myself for things I should be doing. Says who? Social Media? The Ego? My 15 year old self trying to impress the person I am today? The way too long to do list that I made to try and coax myself into action?
The word Should is defined as: used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions. This means that every time I tell myself I should be doing something I’m typically criticizing my own actions and journey and let me tell you, that is an exhausting way to live. The shift I implemented was to to work on being 1% better everyday instead of 100% better everyday because that shit is unrealistic and leads to a whole bunch of SHOULDS and self doubt. I’ve worked on asking myself each day, “What is one thing I can do today that will get me closer to my goals tomorrow?” and then I set my day up to accomplish the thing.
So today, the one thing I’m doing that will get me closer to my goals tomorrow is writing this blog post. Then I’m heading to brunch to toast my progress and heading home to manifest the abundance coming my way. Cheers!