I'm Not Really A Dog Person...

That was my response when my boyfriend at the time was gifted a husky puppy from his mom in 2006.  I had just graduated college and moved back to The Keys for a “final” summer and I knew that dogs, especially big, full of energy, sled pulling dogs, were a commitment. So after much back and forth his mom says, “just take her for the day and see how it goes.”  So we do.  We took her to Shanna Key where she curled up on the corner of the bar while our friend Shannon poured us mind erasers (with Skyy vodka).  As expected, after a few drinks this puppy was looking cuter and cuter.  Her puppy breath and her little blue eyes that just seemed to look right into my soul.  After a few hours we made, what was unbeknownst to me, the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.  We decided to keep her and named her… Skyy.

Skyy quickly became my side kick, we went every where together.  A messy breakup sadly took us away from each other for about 2 years but when I moved back to Key West in 2013 my Skyy Girl was who I was the MOST excited to see and I like to think she felt the same way about me when I walked back into her life.  We started out with weekend visits and then once Ashlee passed away it became full time.  She just helped me.  Just having someone there with me in the depths of my grief.  Witnessing the messiness and just staying silently by my side.

She came to work with me every day and went almost everywhere with me.  She was my roll dog.

Skyy taught me so many things.  She made me a mama an introduced me to a different kind of love.  She taught me patience and how to bring comfort by just being.  She also taught me to get my ass up and go for a walk even if I’m hungover and throwing up in a pocket park.

There are a few things that happen when you get a dog in your 20’s (and you don’t have kids yet); one is that they become your purpose. In 2009 Skyy tore her ACL and never fully recovered from her surgery.  She ended up having her rear leg amputated in April 2018, when she was 12 years old and I’m convinced that surgery is what added 4 more years to her sweet life.  With the loss of her leg came additional care including walking her with a sling (or in our case, her scarf), yoga mat mazes throughout the house, carrying her in and out of the house for bathroom breaks and helping her while she does, giving her weekly injections, and the list goes on.  But the truth is I would have done it for the rest of my life if she would have let me.  

It’s impossible to prepare for the heartbreak that the loss of your first pet brings.  We all wish our pets could live forever and I thought knowing she was 16 that I was ready and could handle it.  When I carried her to the car to go to the vet I held her like a baby so I could see her face and when the sun hit her face she broke into the biggest dog smile (that moment and the look on her face will forever be a core memory). I guess I just thought it would go differently because every other vet visit I had brought her home; having to make that decision was gut wrenching. It wasn’t that strange leaving her at the vet when I left because I had done that many times before for various appointments and surgeries but it was the coming home that hit. Not seeing her sitting under the mango tree outside or at the foot of the couch with her head popping up as we walk through the door. It’s the coming home that gets you.

I feel at peace is knowing that Skyy had an awesome life.  In her 16 years Skyy has swam in The Florida Keys, explored the east coast including Baltimore and the Eastern Shore of Maryland, she's rolled in deer poop, taken an unticketed ride on the Conch Tour Train, she's slept on the corner of the Shanna Key bar and had breakfast at Pepe's.  Skyy has had tomahawk steak bones from Prime 951 and bacon from Keys Coffee Company.  She's been a real estate assistant, an office favorite, a road trip sidekick and and the cutest swimming husky you ever did see.

I mentioned dogs giving you purpose but one of the other things that happens when you get a dog in your 20’s is that they grow up with you.  They are there for you for your biggest accomplishments and also your greatest losses and Skyy was certainly there for mine.  It is weird that I don’t have her here for this round of heartbreak. I woke up for the third day in a row with puffy eyes and a heavy heart. As I look at myself in the mirror I wonder when my eyes will “depuff” and when I’ll be able to talk or think about her without crying. I don’t think that time will be today, or tomorrow but I know it will come. In the words of Winnie the Pooh “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”